Give the number of people who've paid membership this month and last
Give a histogram of membership for the last four months
Give the rules, if n is supplied then you get rule n
Give readings from the sensors in the space
Determine who is responsible for something
Get some wisdom from doorbot playing cards against hackspace, if a topic, t, is given the wisdom will be about it
Summon the drama llama, if m is given it is used as the message the llama will deliver
Generate an insult. If object is given the insult will be addressed to that.
List some upcoming space events
Get the status of something"
Give fuzzy time till event
List the known events for ?time
Where hackercat is saving links
Link to source for this bot
Summon a unicorn
Get a link to this help text
Respond with pong