Arg-73
“The Mozart School of Music should obviously be the first choice of any music student. First of all, the Mozart School stresses intensive practice and training, so students typically begin their training at a very young age. Second, the school has ample facilities and up-to-date professional equipment. Also, its faculty includes some of the most distinguished music teachers in the world. Finally, many Mozart graduates have gone on to be the most renowned and most highly paid musicians in the nation.”
This argument concludes that the Mozart School should be the first choice of any music student based on (1) its intensive practice requirements for students of all ages, (2) its outstanding facilities, up-to-date equipment, and distinguished faculty, and (3) the accomplishments of its graduates. The evidence provided indicates that the Mozart School of Music should, in fact, be the first choice but the argument has several fatal flaws.
First, while The Mozart School of Music is known for its intensive practice and training regimen, the school might only be suitable for new, young students. Perhaps the methods would be a shock for students already familiar with alternative styles of instruction. For that matter, many older students with other interests and activities may find the intensity and time commitment troubling.
Secondly, if the claims are true that the outstanding facilities, equipment, and faculty are offered, it may follow that the cost for these benefits is passed on to students in the form of high tuition. Thus the argument assumes that for all prospective music students’ money is no object—a more affordable school may, in fact, be the first choice for music students.
Thirdly, while many alumni have moved on to become rich and famous, the argument doesn’t offer a relevant connection between the graduates and potential students. For example, perhaps the earlier, successful graduates benefitted from market trends that have since changes. Therefore, it would stand to reason that any students with the same type of training would no longer fit the bill. Maybe another school provides the technical training that could better prepare students for emerging opportunities in the music scene.
In sum, The Mozart School of Music, while it may certainly be a very good school, can not claim to be the number one choice for any music student—the claim is too sweeping and the evidence too general. To strengthen the argument, its proponent must demonstrate, at the very least, that the school would be affordable to any prospective student. To better assess the argument the audience needs more information about how various aged students with unique educational backgrounds will be treated. And finally, an audience must be provided with a basic understanding of the music industry in order to determine if the contributing factors that led to the success of alumni have gone unchanged.
- This argument concludes that... based on (1) , (2), (3).(标志性的GRE argument 开头段首句，提出原文的conclusion, 同时非谓语动词短语based on后面引出原文为了支撑结论所引用的evidence) The evidence provided indicates that the Mozart School of Music should, in fact, be the first choice but the argument has several fatal flaws.(标志性的GRE argument开头段结尾，提出原文存在逻辑上的Flaw)
- First, while The Mozart School of Music is known for its intensive practice and training regimen, the school might only be suitable for new, young students. Perhaps the methods would ... . For that matter, ... .标志性的GRE argument 错误因果分析段写法，现提出文章中的错误因果，然后提出其他可能性
本文是非常严谨的开头段-正文段1-正文段2--正文段3-结尾段的五段论逻辑体系。开头段按照C-E-F的逻辑结构，顺利引出后文的分析。论证段中，从提出错误，到分析错误，到给出可能性，最后总结错误，层次清晰，衔接自然。结尾段总结全文，重申错误，给出合理化建议。这样一篇文章从开头到结尾逻辑严谨，内容清晰，圆满的完成了论证的作用。